1. Biting your nails.
Firstly, there are disgusting things under there. Secondly, you are wasting a perfectly blank canvas for super fun nail art. If you need to do that thing where you snap your hair tie super hard against your wrist every time you catch yourself biting, do it. Or if not, get a freaking nail art manicure. It’s much harder to destroy your nails when they have ombré glitter on them.
2. Not being able to go a 45-second Hulu commercial break without checking your email and Twitter.
In fact, not being able to do really anything ever without reverting back to a screen everytime you’re mildly bored or unsatisfied. This is actually what life has come to. You end up in bed at the end of the day watching TV to relax while simultaneously googling tips about how to destress or if that mole you have should be looked at or going on Gilt just “to see.” Guys, there’s an solution to this problem. Guess what it is? You can READ A BOOK! (Or eBook, let’s not get too carried away here.)
3. You can’t quit cigarettes/Diet Coke/something else that’s bad for you.
The trick is to not to try to tackle everything at once. If you’re giving up smoking, don’t give up Diet Coke. If you’re giving up Diet Coke, don’t give up food (it’s a real problem, people). If you really just find that you can’t give up these things… well, Diet Coke makes you gassy, so keep that in mind.
4. You eat four desserts every night at 11pm
Actually, this sounds like a wonderful ritual. Fuck it, have your desserts. Just eat quinoa and kale during the day and go to town at night. Whatevs.
5. You twirl your hair and pick at your split ends.
Touching your hair constantly can signify a million and four things about your mood. Though not all of those things are bad, they are generally misconstrued as a sign of vanity and innocence. Turns out, we play with our hair when we’re feeling insecure and need to relax. If you find yourself twirling away obnoxiously in a meeting with your boss or something, recognize it as a time to take a deep breath. Feel free to yank at your hair later in the privacy of a bathroom stall.
6. Refusing to get rid of clothes you’re not going to wear
Sure, that super expensive Miley-esque gown looked awesome at your formal senior year, but are you really going to wear it to all the weddings you have next year like you said you would? Probably not. It’s just taking up space in your closet, squeezing everything else together, and let’s face it: ironing is way more annoying than dragging a bag to Goodwill.
7. Hitting snooze seven times each morning.
Guys. Snoozing is bad for your sleep cycle and therefore bad for your body and therefore leads to unhealthy eating habits! (So they say!) Snoozing every morning is like eating four desserts every night. You can totally get out of bed!!!
8. You almost never open your mail.
Actual mail is a thing that still exists. You can’t not open your mail when it does come! If you make a really pretty designated mail station in your home, you are more likely to put your mail in an important place and look through it. Use a cool shoe box or fun jewelry containers. Or just throw out your mail unopened.
9. You don’t put your shoes away.
If you don’t put your shoes away, your dog will eat them. You will trip over them in the middle of the night. It will hurt. You’ll lose one and be sad. If nothing else, consider the mini-bend and snap of picking them up your cardio and ab workout of the day! That should do it.
10. You drink more red wine than they say is good for you.
Try and save the mother load for when you REALLY need it, like Thanksgiving with the entire family. Or, you know, just drink what you want anyway.
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Read this article in Cosmopolitan
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