Every now and then, you may meet a girl who seems to fit snugly into the dream definition of a perfect girlfriend. But if you ever feel a flicker of confusion in those first few weeks, chances are, she’s using you or she’s just putting you on her waiting list until she makes up her mind.
It’s frustrating to realize that you’re being used, even when you’re trying to be a great boyfriend. She may try to convince you that she truly loves you and wants to be with you, but five minutes later, her behaviour may change and she may just act friendly all over again.
Ever been there? Read these signs below to find out if she’s using you:
#1-She wants her space… a lot!: Are you dating a girl who clings to you for a few days, and then completely ignores you for the next few days? While playing hard to get may excite a guy, this is pushing the game too far. Every time she ignores you or pushes you away, you may find yourself falling more madly in love with her. On the other hand, she’s probably interested in a few other guys or sleeping with them, just to work out her options. When a girl claims to love a guy,and yet avoids the guy completely for a few days every now and then, there’s a good chance there’s another guy in her life.
#2-Behaves like a friend: Does your new girlfriend behave like a friend now and then? She hugs you and cuddles you, and then pushes you away and tells you it’s all happening too fast and she’s not ready for it?
Ouch! Any girl who behaves like a girlfriend but prefers to stay friends is obviously using your love and affection to feel better about herself.
#3-Her friends don’t know you: When a girl uses you, there’s a good chance you’re never going to meet any of her friends. But if you both do bump into a good friend of hers, does her friend even realize who you are? And if you see her with a group of her friends and not one person recognizes your name, you’re in serious trouble of being played into a game of I’ll-suck-the-life-outta-you.
#4-You’re not introduced as a boyfriend: This is a no brainer here. But it’s something most guys in love almost always forgive and forget. Have you ever been introduced as just a friend? If she’s convinced that you’re the man in her life, she’d proudly display you like a primped up puppy in a dog show. But if she’s just using you, there’s a very good chance that your relationship status will remain as friends.
#5-She’s confused about your relationship status: Now she may be genuinely confused about the kind of relationship both of you share, especially if she’s just broken up with her guy or is still in a relationship with some other guy. But the point is she’s confused. If she truly does love you, there’s nothing to be confused about unless she’s still in love with another guy. If that’s the case, you’re not the winner here. You’re the scapegoat filling up the blanks when her boyfriend or another guy doesn’t have the time for her. That hurts but its the fact.
#6-She talks about her complicated love life: Do you spend more time consoling her or telling her how the mistakes in her life aren’t really her fault? Girls who end up using guys are confused women who want to be reassured and loved all the time. She may be losing the love of her own guy, and may want you to reassure her about her own relationship and fill her life with happiness and extravagant gifts. And yes, she wouldn’t mind cuddling up with you once in a while for all the nice things you’ve been doing for her. This is seriously messed up!
#7-She makes out but only when she wants to: You may sweet talk her and take her out to expensive dinners, beach, movies, shopping, high-class events, all in the hope of getting some love and appreciation back from her and of course, a little bit of making out too. But if you’re in love with a girl who’s using you, nothing really matters. She’d let you dance on hot coals almost all the time and make out with you only when she feels like it. She initiates it and she ends it, at her whims.
Her excuse: "I’m still confused about my feelings for you/for my own boyfriend/the three other guys in my life".
#8-She dominates the relationship: Does she call you up whenever she feels like it, or asks you to meet her at her whims and fancies? A girl who throws her weight around a guy knows she’s already got him wrapped around her little finger. Don’t ever be that guy. DON’T! You would end up shattered almost all the time and you’d lose all the confidence you have.
Turn the tables around and throw her around a bit. Two things can happen here. She’d take you more seriously, or she’s walk out of your life. Either ways, it’s a good thing for you.
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